According to some statistics, destination weddings are approaching 25% of all weddings. Great news for wedding planners no doubt, but how about you?
With all the drama that goes in to arranging a wedding in your home town, how much more complicated ( and stressful! ) is it to plan one in another city, or even another country? And, of course the requirements for a Catholic wedding go well beyond just a quick trip to the nearest church.
Well fortunately, it can be done, but you need to be sure you know the pluses and minuses of destination weddings.
We have added a series of pages to help you plan a Catholic destination wedding. We welcome your comments and suggestions.
There are places I remember….as St. Patrick’s Day arrives, I’m filled with longing and haunting memories of Ireland. Especially I remember a windswept beautiful area of Western Ireland. Here, deep in County Mayo, lies an ancient Abbey from the 13th century. The name of that Abbey is Ballintubber. And what a perfect place it would be for a wedding!
The beautiful church is often a place to celebrate Mass for pilgrimage groups.
The Abbey has seen many ‘celebrity weddings’ including the marriage of actor Pierce Brosnan to Keely Shaye Smith and Shane Filan (lead singer of Westlife) to Gillian Walsh. But….you don’t have to be a celebrity to get married here. Catholic couples from all over the world dream of getting married in this beautiful and historical church. And you can too, with a bit of planning.
The setting is ideal: an ancient stone church, a simple yet beautiful interior, almost too good to be true. You can get the sense of history of Catholicism in Ireland in this special place.
Close by is the well where St. Patrick baptized the first converts in the area, and a stone next to the well still bears the impression of his knee.
A glance through the columns of the Cloister at Ballintubber you will see Croagh Patrick, Ireland’s Holy Mountain. It is here that Saint Patrick fasted and prayed for 40 days. How romantic is that?
The lively village of Westport is just 12 miles away and offers many hotels along with lively pubs.
And there are several hotels nearby, some very elegant and some quite simple, that are experienced in accommodating wedding parties. The village of Westport is also convenient, being about 12 miles away.
Just keep in mind that because of its popularity, you’ll need to get your paperwork started as soon as possible.
The beautiful church is often a place to celebrate Mass for pilgrimage groups.
The village of Westport with Croagh Patrick in the background.
Most brides…not sure about the grooms….long for a beautiful wedding ceremony in a beautiful setting. And certainly there are many gorgeous venues in which to hold the ceremony. But gosh, those darn Catholics have so many restrictions! Or some people say so. There is a reason that, of course. To be validly married there are certain restrictions, because Marriage is one of the Seven Sacraments of the Church (can you name the other six?).
Google “Catholic wedding venues” and you come up with more than one so-called Catholic priest or bishop who says, “don’t worry….we can do it your way”. Whether these people are well-meaning or are just purposely misleading you to make a quick buck, we cannot say. The fact is that they cannot offer you a Catholic wedding. In most cases they claim to be associated with an Orthodox Church or some unknown body (the word “contemporary” is sometimes used) and have no legitimate status within the Roman Catholic Church.
One tip-off might be the fact that telephone calls are accepted, but not emails. Hence, no paper trail. No way that the priest, or whoever, can be held accountable since nothing is in writing.
So it’s not so easy to get married in the Catholic church, but that is for a reason. As mentioned previously, marriage is a sacrament, and the location for the wedding is more than just a pretty backdrop. The Marriage Rite should take place during the Mass and the place for celebrating all Sacraments is a Catholic Church. Only rarely will a Bishop allow a dispensation.
Known as the American church, the Church of Santa Susanna is the home for English-speaking people living in Rome. It is an active parish as well as a wedding venue for many people wishing to be married in Rome.
Recently due to the fact that pieces have been falling from the ceiling, the Church has been closed to the public. Masses that are normally held here have been moved to the following locations:
Saturday, 5:30 PM and Sunday 9:00 AM at the Basilica of Santa Maria degli Angeli e Martiri ( near the baths of Diocletian). This church is the last of Michelangelo’s projects and well worth a visit.
What bride-to-be hasn’t secretly imagined the incredibly romantic image of herself and her loved one on the beach standing in the sand, waves gently lapping, seagulls soaring overhead and loving family and friends looking on as they become man and wife.
OK, let’s get back to reality. You know that weddings on the beach are subject to sudden tropical showers, sand crabs, and grandma’s walker getting stuck in the sand. And most importantly, as pointed out in a previous blog post, Catholic weddings must be performed on consecrated ground, so that pretty much rules out a beach wedding, right? Not necessarily! In the last few years some wise resort owners have decided that they are missing out on the Catholic wedding market. One of these is the Gran Caribe Resort in Cancun, Mexico shown in the photos below.
Our Lady of Guadalupe Chapel Gran Caribe ResortThe Altar at Our Lady of Guadalupe Chapel at Gran Caribe Resort
To take much of the stress out of the wedding there are wedding planners who help to coordinate everything at your destination and also put you in touch with a local Roman Catholic priest in good standing. And, the prices seem to be a bargain compared to many other countries.
If you are thinking of an exotic setting you might also consider staying at a resort and getting married in a Catholic church nearby. Some of these are either overlooking—or on—the ocean. An example is Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Their website clearly spells out the requirements, and has contact information for those interested.
Also, there are wedding destination firms that arrange Catholic weddings in Antigua, Barbados, Curacao, St Kitts & Nevis and St Lucia, with packages starting around $2.000. U.S. that include most everything for a small party.
Here are the steps you need to prepare for your Catholic destination wedding:
We’ve all seen those wonderful commercials or movies that show the beautiful ocean background as the couple walks down the “aisle” on their wedding day. Destination weddings are promoted (naturally) by many resorts, hotels, airlines, etc. Well, that mental image is beautiful but there are definitely some restrictions for Catholics. See our newer blog post on Catholic weddings at the beach for more details.
It’s not that the Church does not want you to have a beautiful wedding but because the Catholic view of the wedding is that it is a sacrament and should take place on consecrated ground. I noticed that some non-Catholics who attended our son’s wedding remarked that they wished the bride and groom faced each other during the ceremony rather than kneeling and facing the altar. Naturally everything that the secular world has told everyone is that “it is all about the me”. Not so….they miss the important fact that the center of attention is not the bride and groom, but Jesus Christ. Sadly, there are quite a few Catholics in the same boat.
Another oft-requested venue is getting married on a cruise. Why anyone would want to do so is beyond me……having your wedding party and family along on your honeymoon does not sound like a great way to start off married life. However, if you really want to get married on a cruise, then you need to make some serious plans. In the first place, as mentioned above, you cannot get married on the ship because it is not consecrated ground. You would need to arrange for a church at a port along the way and that is not an easy thing. It’s hard enough planning a wedding in your own home town much less some city a few hundred—or thousand–miles away. And, if for some reason, there is a last-minute change in the itinerary you could end up missing your own wedding!
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